transcending Fear

As a working artist I've had to develop a somewhat healthy relationship with the fear, doubt and anxiety that are inextricably woven into a career synonymous with uncertainty and laden with peaks and valleys of the emotional and financial kind.

I've been in the trenches of debt incurred by portfolio building and I've seen paydays from big jobs that have set me up for months. I've seen everything in between as well.

I've learned to accept the flux of this life I've chosen and although at times I do admire the financial security of my lawyer/banker friends, I have been told on a number of occasions that they in turn envy my jet setting to exotic locations to be paid handsomely for what I love to do anyway.

So everything is relative.

Speaking of relativity, a little physics to help illustrated how I work with fear and anxiety:

In classic Newtonian physics there is a subject (me) who is observing an object (a ball). I kick the ball and though the ball flies through the air there is an equal and opposite reaction against my foot. Subject and object and their interaction was the basis of physical understanding up until the introduction of the more complex science of quantum mechanics.

What quantum physicists discovered in the 20th century is that there is a third element involved in measuring an interaction between particles and that is the process of observation itself. On a subatomic level, the process of observation effects the outcome of quantum interactions. (See the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.)

The nature of consciousness is still a big huge massive mystery to almost everyone on the planet. What is consciousness? From where does it arise? Yogis and sages of the east believe that the physical body arises from consciousness whereas many thinkers from the west believe the opposite.

Regardless, I adhere to the truths discovered by the great thinkers of the last century (and the Yogis before them):

Observation changes everything.

Observation and mindful awareness is the root of all yoga, meditation and self healing processes. It is the single most effective tool in easing the patterns of fear and suffering we have accrued throughout our lifetime.

You can't 'get over' your fears. You can't push them away. They will come back, manifested as something else. Perhaps as disease.

What you can do is observe them.

When a wave of fear or anxiety washes over me,  I try and simply observe. I observe the fear as it manifests as a sensation in my body, a tightness in my chest or throat. I observe with detached mindfulness, avoiding the tendency to get sucked in to the emotional play of the ego-mind.

When we observe our emotions with a detached non reactive awareness we create space. Space gives us room to look at our fears and anxieties rationally. When we link this awareness to our breath we have a very powerful tool to ease the debilitating paralysis that the worries of life can impose on us.

In Yoga we hold uncomfortable postures not to get into better physical shape but rather to observe the mind as it struggles with unease. When we are able to say to ourselves 'holy shit, I hate this, I'm uncomfortable but I'm just going to observe this feeling for a bit," we are actually ripping apart a lifetimes worth of patterning.

As we get better at this we can start to observe the mind and its fluctuations on a regular basis, in our interactions with ourselves and others around us. In traffic, at work, in our relationships.

That's how you work with fear, with doubt, with anger, with anxiety. You observe it, you feel it, you watch it ebb and flow and eventually dissipate. You detach from it and observe it as a scientist observes. You become the process of observation.

Because...observation changes everything ;-)

The trouble with being creative

Often I am asked what its like to live and work in a creative field. The challenges, the payoffs etc... For people that hold steady jobs at stable companies, what I do for a living must evoke an equal amount of head scratching and envy. One of the big questions is 'how do you stay creative?' or 'how do you access that area of your mind more effectively?'

I recently completed my Yoga teacher training up in Rishikesh and I can only admit there was an inner shift of monumental proportions. An understanding about how the mind actually works and how we can move beyond the suffering that the mind creates is at the fundamental core of Yoga philosophy.

Learning to be creative has more to do with un-learning and de-habituating than anything else. To access our true creative potential we need to learn to still the mind. When we still the mind we start to unglue the narrative that plays through our consciousness like some mesmerising film, or train wreck, depending on where we're at. This ongoing narrative, constructed from layers upon layers of often unquestioned social, financial, religious beliefs keeps us trapped and stuck like a needle in the grooves of a record, playing the same song over and over again.

You can't just 'be' creative, not at a core level. Thats the problem with it, its not something you can click on and off, not if its to be regarded as an accessible part of your holistic being. Accessing creativity begins with observational awareness. We have to sit and watch the mind spin around in its habituated patterning, we need to understand it and observe it without judgement, without getting caught up in its game.

Creativity is not about being able to take a better picture or paint an amazing portrait though those are happy outcomes. Creativity, true creativity is the ability to take a novel approach to the most mundane habitual patterns that occur everyday in our lives. When we harness our reactivity and allow for gaps in our old narratives to form, we are on the path to becoming Great Artists within our own lives. 

Beware the Collective Unconscious

You may have experienced the Collective Unconscious in statements such as these:

-Good jobs are scarce
-It's nearly impossible to make a living as an artist
-The outlook for the global economy and environment is bleak
-We have to struggle and suffer for our success
-Survival is for the fittest
-The world is a dangerous place, defined by war and the competition for limited resources

The Collective Unconscious is passed down to us through our parents, peers, teachers, churches and mass media. It defines our thinking and actions not only as a culture but as individuals, masquerading as a set of unquestioned beliefs widely accepted as truth.

If you feel that life is a struggle, the world is unsafe and that your survival depends on your ability to compete aggressively you may be suffering at the hands of the Collective Unconscious.

The deeper I dig into my own reality, the more I realize that a lot of what I hold as fact are nothing more than fuzzy half truths and lazy stereotypes rooted in ignorance and the very human need to belong.

As awareness increases there's a realization that perhaps these long held social beliefs are not entirely in line with one's personal convictions.

An effective way the combat the Collective Unconscious is to meditate on the positive aspects of your life. Focussing on what's front of you: Your health, your family, your friends and relationships, your mind and the ability to change it anytime you want, your breath and whatever else it is in your life that allows you to be happy, free and at peace.

Creating space in the mind through meditation helps us break through the dark clouds of doubt and move into clarity and awareness. With the correct intention and practice it is our innate wisdom that begins to define our world view.

Creativity lives in expanded awareness

Within the Buddhist tradition there is an amazing insight into the human mind. The Buddha believed that our thoughts were not just isolated perceptions and insights into the world but rather complex weavings of beliefs about ourselves stemming from the constant re-enforcement of past patterning and conditioning.

As they say, you have on average 80,000 thoughts a day. 79,900 are the same thoughts you had yesterday.

those 79,900 thoughts are like a strip of film running through a cinema projector, playing and repeating your story over and over again. Uncreative, non intuitive.

Another great insight these guys came up with was that all our thoughts and everything that passes through our mind can actually be be FELT in the body somewhere. The difficulty is that many of us in the fast paced chaotic madness in which we live have lost the connection between mind and body.

There are two basic states we can choose to live in: Expanded awareness and Contracted Awareness.

Contracted Awareness is a mind body state governed by fear, worry, doubt, stress. Though these states originate in the mind, we can actually feel them in the body. This state manifests itself as a possible tightness in the chest, shallow breath and in an advanced state; some serious forms of illness.

Expanded awareness is a mind body state expressed by love, creativity, intuition, faith and transcendence. In the body they manifest as deep full breaths, a sense of expansive freedom, pleasant sensations, a general looseness in the body and a smile. Not imprisoned by states of worry and stress, the mind in this state is freer to intuit and be creative. Essentially it is in this state that we can start to loosen or break the 'cinema projector' of our patterning.

Meditation is the key tool for moving from a state of contracted awareness to one of expanded awareness. No longer the realm of monks and mystics, meditation is becoming regarded as an important tool in the maintenance of mental health. It is used by people around the world to maintain a sense of calm and to tap into that infinite realm of creativity and oceanic unboundedness that is our birthright.

As an artist my intention is to live within an expanded state. The world is already far too challenging  to have to deal with specter of self doubt. Often times I'm pulled into contraction through daily worries and stresses but with the help of simply sitting in silence it becomes easier to catch myself...and change my mind.

Why you will fail at your career

Excuses.

you hear them everywhere, though mostly they're in your mind:

too old
too young
in a relationship
have kids
not smart enough
no time
didn't go to the right school
dont have a good enough camera
the market is saturated
no one wants to pay for my skills
too much competition
not creative enough

with a little wisdom, some insight and a bit of self appreciation you'll start to see excuses as symptoms of your inner patterning. We all have an inner dialogue that essentially defines who we are and what we become.

Thoughts become words become action becomes character becomes destiny. Its as simple as that and you've heard it before.

People ask what it takes to become great, not necessarily at photography but anything. My advice would always be to watch your mind, forget about anything else...just learn to watch your mind.

That alone right there will define your success or your failure. Guaranteed. 100%

Once you become aware of your negative thinking and your tendency to make excuses, you'll begin to witness your deeper feelings and hidden opinions.

It takes a lot of work at first but you can change it. Just be aware. It doesn't have to be this epic monumental undertaking (though the results most certainly will be), just simply tell yourself that you no longer believe your excuses. You start to invalidate them.

Your mind will scream at you at first and call you a fraud and how dare you hold a new opinion of yourself...but after some time the new thinking will take hold and new grooves will be etched. The mind is fluid so when you cease dragging the needle down that path it'll fill back up as if it were water.

Next time you tell yourself that you didn't go to the right college or you live in the wrong town or you've got the wrong whatever just know that you only need to do one thing...

...change your mind. It's everything.

New Website is up and Workshops!!

I'm really quite happy to have finally launched my new site: www.martinprihoda.com
Designed by Design Stack here in Mumbai, the site is precisely what I wanted: fast, slick, easy to use, big pictures.

I launched with the following photos from my trip to Pushkar in November

My next piece of news awesomeness is that our next BLFA workshop in Sydney, Australia sold out in 3 days and we've added a second workshop!! after that I'm off to Dubai for Gulf Photo Plus in March and then a personal project which will take me into Oman.

so needless to say its a packed next few months, not too mention all the ad and editorial stuff i'm doing in Mumbai.

anyway, there's a little update for you and their will be lots more in the next few weeks ;-)

The Perfect Photographer VS. The Great Photographer

Who doesn't have some sort of aspiration to be perfect, (gulp) right?

Here's my list of conditions for the Perfect Photographer:

1. Astute, in-depth technical knowledge of Cameras, can take one apart and put it together.
2. Art history buff, has studied all the great Masters who have come before; can drop names if asked.
3. Can single handedly produce a job with mind boggling efficiency.
4. Sends out the perfect estimate; makes money while remaining competitive.
5. Amazing marketing and business skills. Blog and website always up to date. Sends monthly e-newsletters to clients.
6. Adept and masterful at all things social media
7. Perfect understanding of Lighting Theory, knows exactly which modifier to use and when.
8. Always a pleasure to work with. Clients love the Perfect Photographer; drinks are always on him/her post shoot.
9. Always meets deadlines
10. Knows how to apply makeup on models in case the H/M girl calls in sick/hungover.
11. Pays his/her crew on the day of shoot, in cash if they want.
12. Communicates well with and brings the best out of their models and subjects.
13. A Photoshop wizard, the perfect photographer retouches their own images and delivers ahead of schedule, with minimal revisions.
14. Their portfolio is the perfect mix of personal and professional work.
15. Always demands to fly business class.
16. Can shoot Product, Fashion, Automobiles, Travel, Food and Interiors with equal excellence
17. Nails the pitch every time and exudes confidence in pre-production meetings.
18. A natural Fashionista, styling their own shoots is a breeze.

Hopefully by point 18 you've realized that no such person can possibly exist. In fact I feel lucky if I'm nailing half the things on the above list.

so whats the difference between Great and Perfect?

The great photographer knows their strengths and weaknesses. They move forward in their strength and fill their weaker qualities with people who call those same weaknesses, strengths.

A great photographer may have an excellent eye for detail but is terrible with people. They may have amazing business acumen but a poor understanding of light fall off and what a Parabolic light actually does. Thats okay, though...they know they're not perfect.

Surround yourself with people who are better and smarter than you.

My producer is better at budgeting and project management than I am, my retoucher is infinitely better at photoshop, one of my lighting assistants knows more about how an dSLR works than I ever will (or want to)... If your ego can handle it and you can build a team on this principle; you're in for a wild, successful ride.

The unfortunate truth is that if you try and do it all yourself, you will stay small and ultimately entrenched upon the gilded path of mediocrity.

To be great you have to commit yourself to Mastery, to learning, to plateauing, to failing, to learning...

and that, my friends, has nothing to do with perfection.

The Importance of knowing you suck

Catchy title, huh?

Its not to say you suck at everything but you certainly suck at something. I know I do. I suck at lots of stuff.

Lets start off with a story: Not too long ago a female friend of mine was enamored with a beautiful man. He was one of the top models in town, oozed sex appeal and seemed to vibe a heightened knowledge of the female psyche. He was charming, witty and arrogantly hard to get. He was the type of guy that when he entered the room all heads turned, male AND female. You know the guy i'm talking about right?

Anyway, when she triangulated some basic information and found out he was not gay, she made her move. Now, my friend is quite an attractive woman herself, but whats more she's self assured, graceful and intelligent. So its not such a stretch that she would be able to land the hottest guy in town.

Well...she did.

Back at her apartment things started getting steamy...thats when she noticed something was not right. He seemed fidgety, nervous, anxious. His heart rate seemed accelerated above average and he was having a hard time, or maybe, well, not hard enough.

Since this is primarily a photography blog, I'll simply cut to the chase: Their session was 'over' about 20 minutes into foreplay and this guy just picked up his stuff, red faced and left. The door shut and my friend just sat there for about 30 minutes contemplating the worst sexual experience she's ever had. This 40 year old handsome man, dripping sexual appeal from his every pore, turns out to be the worst lover she's ever been with.

It brings up an interesting question: How can someone who's convinced us they're so good, actually be so bad?

My theory is that human beings will do almost anything in their power to hide the fact they suck and arrogance, in my humble opinion, is one of the biggest indicators that someone's definitely hiding their Suck.

Bringing this post back to point. The sooner we actually acknowledge that we suck at whatever we suck at, the sooner we can transform the suck into not sucking.

There's a few main things to think about:

1: Realizing we suck at something requires us to face our Ego head on. This is painful. Our Ego is the part of ourselves that decides what it is we want the world we 'think' we are. Its the false sense of self that always seems to be at war with what's really going on inside us. When we let down our guard and realize that we're all just a bundle of twisted up, conflicting sets of patterns and conditionings that have been forming haphazardly since we first learned to speak, we can begin the process of facing our shadow selves with courage, honesty and wisdom.

Accept and Own your 'Suck'.

2: Surround yourself with people who are better than you, or at least suck less. We all have strengths and weaknesses, it doesn't help to look upon life as a competition; thats the old model of being. Sure, resources are limited and we all need to struggle to achieve, but I'm sure it can be done in a way that doesn't tear us up inside.

3: Introspect. If you're making the same mistakes over and over again and everyone sees it except you, it means you're caught in a pattern thats so comfortable in its discomfort that you might not even know that its happening. Spending some amount of time in silence will help you with this. Silence is like a wedge that drives into your conditioning and creates the space you need to make sane decisions about your life.

4: Always remember, there's always someone out there, even its just one person, who doesn't think you suck at all. Perspective is key.

Being one with your Suck means to accept your humanity and that's a beautiful thing. Focus on your strengths, know and accept your weaknesses and cut out all negative self talk.

So embrace your suck; just like the line between pain and pleasure, with a little attention that in you which sucks could very well turn out to be your greatest strength.

-M

There is no tomorrow...

I had a major epiphany a few months back and its something I shared with my last workshop class. I thought I'd write about it here as well.

I remember, years back now, when I began this journey into photography thinking to myself:

"I know nothing about this, I don't know how they light these images, I don't know how to build a good portfolio, I don't know where to find models or how to go about setting up meetings with agency art directors. I had no idea how I would begin to build a portfolio good enough to even get me in the door."

The beginning was full of I don't know's, I don't know's, I don't know's.

But somewhere in there, deep down and a quite was another voice, urging and pushing: "I will."

Somehow I will do it. Somehow I will make it. Its been these words that have pushed me through financial hardship, disappointment and an immensely energy consuming but amazing move to India. The successes along the way serve as beacons and reminders that I was indeed on the right path.

I had this notion of 'making it' in my head. I wanted to 'make it,' to 'get there,' and 'to arrive.' As I sat at my desk all those years back I noticed a Vanity Fair magazine to the right of my computer. I decided then and there that shooting the cover to a major magazine like Vanity Fair or GQ was my idea of 'making it' and that when that moment arrived, I would find my success, my peace and my happiness.

Flash forward some years.

I'm sitting at my computer in Bombay a few months ago and on my desk is a GQ magazine but this time its MY cover. I shot it.

and thats when it hits me. I remember all those years back, that promise I made to myself and here it is, the moment has arrived!

But interestingly, there was no feeling of 'making it' to be found, no angels of success trumpeting down on me heralding my arrival. No, there was only silence...and a small cursor blinking at the top of an open excel file entitled 'overdue Invoice for job EH2011-5,'

Thats when it hit me.

There is no tomorrow. There is no "I'll be successful when I reach here, or there or I'll be happy as soon as X happens.

There is only right now. Its a crazy thing but so many of us live in the future. I know this because I have like-minded, goal orientated friends like myself. Friends who say: "As soon as my book is published..." or "I need to be making at least 6 figures..." Those are all valid goals but they have nothing to do with success or happiness.

What I realized is that putting your visions of success and happiness into the future tense really is a negation of your success and happiness right here and now. We are unhappy with how things are so we fantasize about the future and how happy we'll be when we have our new car, house, salary, job, relationship.

But its all bullshit. You're lying to yourself. If you can't feel your success right here in the present moment, then you never will. It will never ever come.

I sat that looking at my cover and I thought to myself, that's a huge accomplishment, why don't I feel elated, or successful about it?? The truth is that I also suffer from the 'right now isn't good enough, tomorrow will be better' disease.

I made a conscious decision at that moment. I decided that from that moment forward I would visualize and feel my success in each and every moment. I would continue to set goals and work towards them, but would no longer look to them for validation or happiness. I would do that now, right here and now.

Its all habitual. The mind wants to wander to the future and wallow in the past. Anything but here and now. It takes practice and meditation.

I said to my class: "How many of you have goals about the future, visions of the future where you feel happy and full of joy and freedom." almost all hands went up. The I asked: "How many of you feel that about your lives right now?":

Noticeably fewer hands.

The truth was that they were successful, right now. They paid good money to hear me speak, they gave their time. It was a commitment to their craft, to their love of what they were doing. THAT is hugely successful. Most people just dream...they were here, sitting, listening, learning. I asked them to honor that.

There is no tomorrow. Visualize yourself as a success in your field, financially free, respected. Feel what it would be like to drive your dream car, live in your dream house. Visualize that and now bring it into the present. Live with the feeling that you are already that which you desire to become.

You remember that old story of Michelangelo and his carving of David from marble? Someone asks him how he could possibly have created something so beautiful and Michelangelo replies simply: "The statue was already in the rock, I just removed the excess pieces."

That's us, our success is already within...we just need to uncover it. Here. Now.

chillin' with the Tibetans

Dharamsala is a dope place, not just cause hash is as readily available as Dal and rice but because its so damn chill. Originally an english hill station set up against the foothills of the Himalayas its now home to the Dalai Lama an the Tibetan government in exile.

I'm not doing much work except for coordinating the post work for my latest Harper's Bazaar shot between my retoucher in Israel and the editor in Delhi. Its been pretty much Yoga and meditation classes and long hikes through the foothills with my wife, son and our friends from Canada.

I've been going through some past work putting together images for an exhibition i want to do and found this outtake from a fashion shoot in Rajasthan a few months back.

We'll be back in Bombay around the 17th of June and then its a bunch of ad shoots back to back till we head back to Canada for a few weeks.

So i guess this is the calm before the storm.

Taken outside of Jaipur,  Rajasthan at sunset